Tonight

>has been the night unlike any other night at Clemson. A generic overview of how things are going at school will come soon (since you're dying to know, I'm sure), but for now, I just want to say the college will probably be a season of learning to trust. Before I came, I had doubts about if this was where God wanted me- and I realized it was. It's not a question of happiness or certainty that this is my new home.. I love it here, really.

But what I've seen over the past few days is a discontent in my heart, a hardness towards my Savior, a lack of trust in His goodness and grace. Really, I've seen that over the past months, but I guess it's seemed to surface more with the intensity of changing surroundings. It's been the weirdest time of my life. My heart runs after things that don't satisfy and desires what may be good at a time but what God has not initiated now.

I pray that God would use all of my empty longings to thrust me into dependence on Him, acknowledging my powerlessness, weakness, and ignorance, and recognizing His Lordship, sufficiency, and consistency; that I would look at the cross and be satisfied; that there, my pride, plans, and love of sin would fall seeing the surpassing greatness of God's alternative.

I came across this quote tonight- certainly no coincidence:

"God never witholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God's refusals are always merciful- "severe mercies" at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better." -Elisabeth Elliot

and I'm reminded of the verse inside my purity ring:

"Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
-Psalm 27:14

I know this has been weird, vulnerable, and kind of vague, but if you happen to read this, say a prayer- for me and for yourself, to desire God more than what we desire at the time, to surround ourselves with His truth, and rest knowing that we can trust the God who created everything we see and don't see.

making up for lost time

I know, two blogs in one night is a little crazy, but I might as well fill you in about Ecuador too!

Basically, the 8 members from FBC Camden met up with about 90 students 4,000 miles away in Ecuador’s capital to work in different areas doing VBSs, sports camps, conversational English, etc. In the airport, we met up with a super sweet girl named Sarah who was going to IWC by herself- instant adoption. Love ya, mean it Esther (like she reads this). Anyway, we stayed in a seminary and had everything we needed.


the team.

It was so cool working with the missionaries, translators, believers, participants, and children there. First, it was so incredible to see the kids run up to you and just love you, because they knew you were there to love them. Praise the Lord. Second, I absolutely loved my translator. Her name was Katherine; she’s 27 and a believer. We immediately hit it off, and it was such a blessing to work with her. Along the same lines, I was so encouraged by the pastor (and his family) of our house church. And last, the missionaries there were great to talk to, giving me a new perspective and desire for missions.


the kids at VBS.

Now to actual points. Through hearing the pastor’s testimony and talking to my translator, one thing I saw was their understanding of the importance/vitality of the Gospel. It is central. It is what unifies believers, brings understanding, and saves us. I saw their desire for others to know the hope that they have come to know, and I truly believe their simplicity and focus comes directly from their lack of obsession with materialistic or theological pursuits. Each of those has their place, but that place is only in support, not equality, of the Gospel. Praise God for teaching me through their examples.


sharing salvation bracelets at the block party.

Along the same lines, one day, Katherine and I decided to pray over a very lost boy we had just talked to. She prayed in Spanish; I did not understand. I prayed in English; she did. She's awesome. Anyway, another night in worship, one of the translators led worship and sang the last verse of a song in Spanish. These two small incidents reminded me of how people say that God is "Lord of the nations" and well, He is. However simple this may be, I tend to only think of God in English, and so this blew my mind. God can understand- and is bigger than- any language or any culture. He is so much bigger than the little American corner of the world that we call home. He is Lord of the nations, of all creation..


the pastor's kids.

And lastly, how productive it was to talk to some of the missionaries and learn about God's call on their lives, and how great it was to be exposed to international missions, finally. Let me just say that I love it. There is no doubt in my mind now that my job will be missions-related (yet another thing I could blog about). I learned about so many missions opportunities and was just extremely encouraged by people who had given their lives to share the Gospel. At least in Ecuador, people respected or were interested in you because you spoke English, which provided such great opportunities. I can't wait to continue seeing other cultures and how God is working in them. And if you think about it, pray for me as I seek what God has for me in this "mission-related" business.


the (fake) Equator on tourism day.


I feel like there are so many other things to convey, but God worked, and I'm ready to go back. I'll leave you with two beautiful pictures I ganked from a journeyman that's living in Ecuador.. Vaya con Dios.






Ephesians 2:4-5
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved.

how's your summer going?

It is unexpectedly beautiful. Seriously, going into this summer, I knew I'd be working at United Way, spending a low-key week at the lake with some friends, going to World Changers in Nashville and Ecuador, and orientation. Certainly some exciting things, but I have more free time this summer than usual, and I wasn't expecting much overall. However, it's been incredible- making money, having some new experiences, and getting to catch up with so many people and develop relationships. the perfect summer, for me.


Since I've neglected my blog so well, I have so many things to share, so buckle up. Actually, you can do whatever you want. If anyone's actually reading this, that's a big enough deal.

WEEK ONE: Senior trip at the lake with some friends, including my awesome roommate from Texas last year, Julie Hagerup! Let's just say it was awesome to be with everyone, find some closure for the high school era, and just relax for the first time in a while. Oh, and learn to wakeboard (sort of). that's what's up. A special thanks to the Gills for letting us use their home!

WEEK TWO: World Changers Nashville! WC is like home to me (that's why I'm halfway done with my Summer Staff application for next year, and it's July). This year was very different in that I didn't really met a ton of great friends, but I did get closer to a few people from my church, and met a couple of legitimate, God-seeking friends from around the Southeast.

WEEK THREE: Oh, orientation. I have decided I love Clemson, and I hate their programs. I enjoyed this two-day extravaganza with Peyton and Thad, but all the information and sheep-hearding was a little too much for me. Sidenote, I learned how quickly I can write people off, judge them, or think I'm too cool for someone- that's funny in itself. But seriously, upon meeting some different people at orientation- people who weren't really accepted by the other students there- I went along with the existing opinion that they were too into video games, or academics, or whatever it may be. As if Jesus would have that attitude. I guess there are more details behind this realization, but I'm glad God started showing me this attitude before I even move into Clemson, so hopefully I'll keep learning how to love God and love people. more to come on this renewing of my mind.

WEEK FOUR-FIVE: Working at United Way. Not much to say other than I love this job. Since I'm going into non-profit leadership, it's been good to see how things work, as well as save up some money!

WEEK SIX: International World Changers to Quito, Ecuador! I think I'm going to have to post a separate blog about this. Stay tuned.

WEEK SEVEN-PRESENT: Back to work at United Way. My oldest brother, Gregg, is getting married next weekend (on Lane's birthday). Lane proposed to Jessica last week. Thad and I are taking Peyton on a surprise trip this weekend for her birthday! and I only have two weeks left at the Way. Also, 23 days til we move into Clemson.. but who's counting.


There's my life, minus a lot of details and a few more realizations.. but I'll save that for a few months down the road when I actually decide to blog again.

Well, I've basically lost any dedication, desire, or talent for blogging. Nevertheless, I'll do some updating.

1. I graduated! and did I cry? no. This is getting pretty ridiculous, but at least I did tear up during my speech and during the alma mater. Love ya, Camden High.
2. Speaking of Camden High, I might as well post this link, in case you've somehow missed it. (http://www.gatorade.com/default.aspx?mobilelockerroom%3Fs=mobile-locker-room&es=camden-hs#mobilelockerroom?s=mobile-locker-room&es=camden-hs) Camden High was selected as one of only five schools in the nation for testing a new Gatorade product, and so our video is on the website. I got chills watching the film of Kelvin Grant returning the kickoff in the last few seconds of the 2001 playoff game against Wilson. I will never forget that moment.
3. Speaking of crying (refer to #1), I did tear up significantly when Julie left yesterday! Let me back up. My best friend/roommate from Arlington last summer came to visit for a week and a half! It was a blast- just like old times minus the Mission. We went to Charleston for a day, had some graduation fun, then headed up to the lake for some relaxation, food, games, and lake festivities. Not to mention catching up and sharing our lives of the past year. She's pretty mad legit real cool, man.
4. I discovered Plato's Closet. Well, I finally went there. It has changed my life! I can't comprehend paying full price for clothing now.
5. I started working at United Way! I love it, especially now that I have permission to call Donny without the Mr. in front.
6. Lastly, WORLD CHANGERS is basically tomorrow. too amp.

lo siento

for neglecting my blog. Like Ruiz, I apologize to all my adoring fans.

I know I always have numbered/bulleted posts, and I'm sure that gets boring, but I feel that's the most effective way to catch you up on my life (which I know y'all are so interested in). So, let's recap.


★ It's spring break, and that's so beautiful.
★ Thad introduced me to this restaurant in Camden called Maddison's. The food's pretty delectable, and the owners are such nice people; who knew?!
★ Speaking of Thad, our families are going to Edisto this week. holla for warm weather, relaxation, and some great food, I'm sure!
★ But before that, I'm going with Meredith to Clemson for an overnight :) It's so good visiting now, knowing that I'll be there next year. It basically adds a whole new dimension. Plus, we get to go to RUF Tuesday night! I'm pretty amp.
★ Last night, my dad said "Interrupting someone's sneeze should be punishable by death." and it basically made my lyfe.
★ I've started saying "lol" sarcastically instead of laughing, but I'm kind of concerned because it's becoming a habit, and that's not okay.
★ Bekah Austin recruited (you can hardly call it recruiting, because I'm no good) me for her intramural frisbee team next year!
★ Pandora's being nice to me today.
★ Less than a month til AP exams!! That's kind of stressful, but that means it'll over be over soon. PTL.
★ Mrs. Williams used my paper as an example the other day! This sounds like no big deal, but seriously, I've never been more proud of any piece of school work in my life.
★ I took all that random Clemson mail, cut out the good parts, and made some sweet collages for Peyton and I. how lame of me.
★ In two weeks-ish, there's a concert in Columbia for $10. It's basically like Winterjam all over again, but with better people, and that's ridiculously exciting. and it's Kayla birthday!
★ oh yeah!! Julie's officially coming to South Carolina this summer! I am slightly concerned that she and Luke might end up being better friends than we are, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
★ There was a Clemson reception for accepted students last week in Columbia, and I got a free t-shirt. always exciting.
★ Mrs. Twitty let us work in partners for our last ever AP Cal test, and Lesley and I rocked it.
★ In my last post, I mentioned that crazy person on Ebay that outbid me for Wallabees- well, I found another pair and won within that last few seconds! It was so intense.
★ My birthday's really soon, and I can register to vote. Jim Matthew for Sheriff!
★ Easter was yesterday. Praise Jesus! We serve a risen Savior :)


This verse keeps coming up in my life.
1 Corinthians 15:56-57
"The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."