Over the past couple of weeks, God’s really been hitting at the core of what drives me, where I run to gain satisfaction, attention, or affirmation- places that are not Him. In a lot of my attitudes, actions, decisions, and desires, He shown me my overwhelming selfishness- and what that has shown me more than anything is that I hate sin. I hate that I love it. I hate that I daily live out Proverbs 26:11. I hate that I run to it, knowing it leaves me empty. But I’m so thankful it leaves me empty, I’m thankful Jesus allows nothing else to fill me beside Himself- because it teaches me constantly that I was created to know and glorify Him, and only in fulfilling that purpose will I ever be satisfied.
So this is becoming my prayer:
God, although I cling so tightly and am deceived so greatly by my own flesh, work my sin out of me, replacing it with Yourself. You are the Giver of every good thing, the Creator of my heart, the ultimate Lover of my soul. Your plan is perfect and is lacking in nothing; my plans are full of compromise and lies. Don’t let me forget the feeling that comes when I settle for cheap imitations of the contentment found only in Jesus Christ, filled with grace and love. Teach me that the wages of sin is death, separation from you; but Your gift is eternal life in Christ- a life that is abundantly good, because You are able to do far more than we ask or imagine. Whisper the Gospel over and over to my soul; tenderize my heart and train it only to run to You.
11.21.2010
11.18.2010
judge me if you must,
but I seriously, seriously want this tattoo.
"Tetelestai doesn’t translate simply, we have to make a phrase out of it - "It is finished." But still some of its power is lost in the translation. In the Greek it implies that something has come to an end, it has been completed, perfected, accomplished in the full and that something has consequences that will endure on and on. Tetelestai. The most powerful single word of all of Jesus ministry. It was also his last word. It was the word that turned this apparent tragedy into a scene of Victory that shook the earth, split rocks, changed history, raised saints from the dead and tore away the temple curtain that kept people out of the Holy of Holies. Tetelestai- the most powerful word in history. Even more powerful than the words of creation in Genesis chapter 1 where God spoke and the universe came into existence. This word could not simply be spoken. The son of God had to die to speak it."
-Rev. Bill Versteeg
*John 19:30
What a legit reminder and conversation starter.
"Tetelestai doesn’t translate simply, we have to make a phrase out of it - "It is finished." But still some of its power is lost in the translation. In the Greek it implies that something has come to an end, it has been completed, perfected, accomplished in the full and that something has consequences that will endure on and on. Tetelestai. The most powerful single word of all of Jesus ministry. It was also his last word. It was the word that turned this apparent tragedy into a scene of Victory that shook the earth, split rocks, changed history, raised saints from the dead and tore away the temple curtain that kept people out of the Holy of Holies. Tetelestai- the most powerful word in history. Even more powerful than the words of creation in Genesis chapter 1 where God spoke and the universe came into existence. This word could not simply be spoken. The son of God had to die to speak it."
-Rev. Bill Versteeg
*John 19:30
What a legit reminder and conversation starter.
11.10.2010
where's that tiger?
Recently, I stumbled upon a facebook page for the Clemson Tiger. I tried adding him, and it said "Sorry, this user already has too many friend requests." Seriously, it's not like Clemson football's keeping him that busy. Let's just say that I feel my $20K a year should buy me friendship with this cat.. no pun intended.
okay, so maybe it was.
okay, so maybe it was.
11.08.2010
it's the simple things
These two things have made my life better recently.
check out the massive tree in our dorm room:
and all 65 of my support letters: dunzo.
check out the massive tree in our dorm room:
and all 65 of my support letters: dunzo.
11.04.2010
50 degrees in Clemson
I'm a seasonal snob. I tend to appreciate fall and spring on a completely different level than summer or winter. Maybe that's normal, or it's just because I'm an in-between kind of person. I have a hard time making decisions and choosing between extremes, so balance is good for me- although I never really get there, but I digress.
As the weather cools down in Clemson and I pack up my Nike shorts and Rainbows, I reach a borderline depression stage. RIP warm weather and slack clothes. However, today, on my usual fast-paced walk to Brackett because I'm always late, I found a new appreciation for this season of winter. Of course, there are many great things that come with cold weather, but if nothing else, winter brings us more clothes. Yes, I mean, no more girls walking around in no clothes. I'm not trying to say I'm the most modest girl on the planet, but some people just really push this "no dress code" thing. But now, they can't- they'd freeze. It's beautiful, really.
So, all I really want to say is, here's to winter and the modesty it brings.
As the weather cools down in Clemson and I pack up my Nike shorts and Rainbows, I reach a borderline depression stage. RIP warm weather and slack clothes. However, today, on my usual fast-paced walk to Brackett because I'm always late, I found a new appreciation for this season of winter. Of course, there are many great things that come with cold weather, but if nothing else, winter brings us more clothes. Yes, I mean, no more girls walking around in no clothes. I'm not trying to say I'm the most modest girl on the planet, but some people just really push this "no dress code" thing. But now, they can't- they'd freeze. It's beautiful, really.
So, all I really want to say is, here's to winter and the modesty it brings.
11.03.2010
so long
Try to hold your excitement, but we're about to try something new.
PART 1: I wrote this on 10/28/10, and never finished, but I don't feel like wasting all the time and energy it took to write it by not posting.
Hey guys. Confession: I wish I was better at blogging. With that out of the way, let me tell you what's been consuming my thoughts for the past few days. A couple of weeks ago, randomly at Crosspoint Fall Getaway, a girl I barely knew told me about a trip to India over Christmas. Katelyn from BCM is leading a group to meet up with some missionaries to help their students put on a winter conference for local believers. I'm a little fuzzy on all those details, but I talked to Katelyn multiple times and prayed and thought about it, and thought some more, and confused myself, and Peyton and other people talked some sense into me, and prayed about it more. ps, I overanalyze everything. I talked to my parents a lot about it, and obviously, they have a hard time letting their 18 year-old American daughter go to a foreign country with only about a seven-week notice, missing the holidays, and finding someway to meet that $2800 price tag. But they're getting there.
I won't take you through the crash course of logic that's been going through my head- concerned with how I would raise that amount of money in such a short time, but also remembering that money is no big deal to the God who created everything we see; trying to hear my parents out but also trying to not let anything be of greater value than God's call; freaking out because I'm the most inconsistent person on the planet, but remembering that God can use anyone for His glory and any situation to teach me- but I will say that if I go to India or not, God's definitely used this situation already in my life.
First, it's been really cool to realize that I want to go. Not just to India, but go. I don't know what that'll look like for my life, but especially since Ecuador, I've just been captivated by international missions. God certainly calls and commands every believer to go, and that looks different for different people (so thankful for our anti-cookie cutter God!), but I feel like He puts desires in our hearts for the type of ministry He's calling us to. What I'm trying to say is that so often, I recognize what I want to do, but I dismiss that as a reason for actually doing, for fear of basing a decision on my flippant emotions. But now I'm seeing that I sometimes make decisions more complicated than they should be because I ignore that God can use our heart's desires to push us in the way He wants to use us for His glory.
Second, it's been awesome to see the way God works in so many ways surrounding a decision. It's not like He's just using this situation to teach me- He's using it to teach my parents, my friends, and other people around me. My parents' faith is certainly growing, and it's so encouraging to hear them say things like "As your parents, the only thing we want to say is 'no'. But, recognizing that you belong to God first, who are we to limit how He wants to use you?" and "We know that the center of God's will is the safest place for you to be, even if that's halfway around the world." Also, just like in Ecuador, it's growing the faith of the people around me, who may sacrificing money to support me.
And last (for today), I want to recognize that there is faith to say 'yes' but there is faith to accept 'no's as well. I might not be able to go to India. I might not have the money, my parents might ultimately not feel comfortable letting me go, or some other reason might come up. Since God is sovereign, I trust that wherever I am for Christmas, there are reasons- there are opportunities- there will be lessons that conform me to the image of Christ.
PART 2: Now, about a week later, I have an update.
I'M GOING TO INDIA!! God is faithful. My parents felt a lot better once they got some more information and have agreed to let me go. I'm in the beginning phases of fundraising- this also means that if you've played a big role in my life someway, you'll probably be getting a support letter in the mail sometime soon. love ya mean it! I'll keep you guys posted on what God teaches me as I prepare with the team. Please, please keep us in your prayers!
Also, I hate to plug fundraising into my blog, but-
I'm selling these shirts to raise money. $10 short-sleeve. $15 long-sleeve.
Basically, I get money to go to India. You get a t-shirt. Win, win. But, if you're not easily convinced:
1) It's getting closer to winter, and no one has enough long-sleeve t-shirts. You might think you'll be wearing cute clothes all winter, but you know during exams, you'll want a warm, comfy t-shirt. Why not buy one for $15, instead of $20 most other places? Irresistible.
2) Christmas is coming soon.. cheap and early gift shopping. All I'm saying.
3) The shirts are dark green. Always a good color for hunting season.
4) It took me so long to fit that verse into the outline of India. Help me know it wasn't a waste of my time.
5) Have a hard time evangelizing? Wear the shirt. Random guy thinks "this Brennan kid is crazy for going to India over Christmas" and asks you about it. Uhh, plug for Jesus!
6) I already have a lot of people signed up to order; go with the flo, right? (kidding..)
But for real, just consider how you could support our team- if that's through prayer, buying a t-shirt, or donating any amount of money. God is always faithful to provide for us, so pray about if God is calling you to be a part of this trip through giving. If not, that's okay. Thanks!
PART 1: I wrote this on 10/28/10, and never finished, but I don't feel like wasting all the time and energy it took to write it by not posting.
Hey guys. Confession: I wish I was better at blogging. With that out of the way, let me tell you what's been consuming my thoughts for the past few days. A couple of weeks ago, randomly at Crosspoint Fall Getaway, a girl I barely knew told me about a trip to India over Christmas. Katelyn from BCM is leading a group to meet up with some missionaries to help their students put on a winter conference for local believers. I'm a little fuzzy on all those details, but I talked to Katelyn multiple times and prayed and thought about it, and thought some more, and confused myself, and Peyton and other people talked some sense into me, and prayed about it more. ps, I overanalyze everything. I talked to my parents a lot about it, and obviously, they have a hard time letting their 18 year-old American daughter go to a foreign country with only about a seven-week notice, missing the holidays, and finding someway to meet that $2800 price tag. But they're getting there.
I won't take you through the crash course of logic that's been going through my head- concerned with how I would raise that amount of money in such a short time, but also remembering that money is no big deal to the God who created everything we see; trying to hear my parents out but also trying to not let anything be of greater value than God's call; freaking out because I'm the most inconsistent person on the planet, but remembering that God can use anyone for His glory and any situation to teach me- but I will say that if I go to India or not, God's definitely used this situation already in my life.
First, it's been really cool to realize that I want to go. Not just to India, but go. I don't know what that'll look like for my life, but especially since Ecuador, I've just been captivated by international missions. God certainly calls and commands every believer to go, and that looks different for different people (so thankful for our anti-cookie cutter God!), but I feel like He puts desires in our hearts for the type of ministry He's calling us to. What I'm trying to say is that so often, I recognize what I want to do, but I dismiss that as a reason for actually doing, for fear of basing a decision on my flippant emotions. But now I'm seeing that I sometimes make decisions more complicated than they should be because I ignore that God can use our heart's desires to push us in the way He wants to use us for His glory.
Second, it's been awesome to see the way God works in so many ways surrounding a decision. It's not like He's just using this situation to teach me- He's using it to teach my parents, my friends, and other people around me. My parents' faith is certainly growing, and it's so encouraging to hear them say things like "As your parents, the only thing we want to say is 'no'. But, recognizing that you belong to God first, who are we to limit how He wants to use you?" and "We know that the center of God's will is the safest place for you to be, even if that's halfway around the world." Also, just like in Ecuador, it's growing the faith of the people around me, who may sacrificing money to support me.
And last (for today), I want to recognize that there is faith to say 'yes' but there is faith to accept 'no's as well. I might not be able to go to India. I might not have the money, my parents might ultimately not feel comfortable letting me go, or some other reason might come up. Since God is sovereign, I trust that wherever I am for Christmas, there are reasons- there are opportunities- there will be lessons that conform me to the image of Christ.
PART 2: Now, about a week later, I have an update.
I'M GOING TO INDIA!! God is faithful. My parents felt a lot better once they got some more information and have agreed to let me go. I'm in the beginning phases of fundraising- this also means that if you've played a big role in my life someway, you'll probably be getting a support letter in the mail sometime soon. love ya mean it! I'll keep you guys posted on what God teaches me as I prepare with the team. Please, please keep us in your prayers!
Also, I hate to plug fundraising into my blog, but-
I'm selling these shirts to raise money. $10 short-sleeve. $15 long-sleeve.
Basically, I get money to go to India. You get a t-shirt. Win, win. But, if you're not easily convinced:
1) It's getting closer to winter, and no one has enough long-sleeve t-shirts. You might think you'll be wearing cute clothes all winter, but you know during exams, you'll want a warm, comfy t-shirt. Why not buy one for $15, instead of $20 most other places? Irresistible.
2) Christmas is coming soon.. cheap and early gift shopping. All I'm saying.
3) The shirts are dark green. Always a good color for hunting season.
4) It took me so long to fit that verse into the outline of India. Help me know it wasn't a waste of my time.
5) Have a hard time evangelizing? Wear the shirt. Random guy thinks "this Brennan kid is crazy for going to India over Christmas" and asks you about it. Uhh, plug for Jesus!
6) I already have a lot of people signed up to order; go with the flo, right? (kidding..)
But for real, just consider how you could support our team- if that's through prayer, buying a t-shirt, or donating any amount of money. God is always faithful to provide for us, so pray about if God is calling you to be a part of this trip through giving. If not, that's okay. Thanks!
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